New

Teleconferencing Skills from Syntonics Available

CD – DVD – Video

The voice itself carries more information then the words.  Being trained to hear these nuances of sound increases your effectiveness in phone meetings.  Learn how to establish rapport, pick up hidden agendas and be more successful on the telephone.  Introduction and Lesson One for the powerful skills to use on telephone calls.

Intro $4.95

Enjoying Difficult/Obnoxious People
continued

I had such delight in creating this article that I've been searching for difficult people ever since.  They become "easy" and even fascinating in their behaviors once you have these skills as options.  Here come the details for you to consider as you select from the list of five possible strategies.  You, of course, need a plan that brings about the result you want.   Different people demand different plans. 

1. CROSS OUT AND REPLACE

Replace judgment with curiosity….not easy to do, so we'll present easier ones for you to practice.  Eventually you can work up to curiosity for this shifts the energy around the interaction in a dramatic way.  Cross out judgment and replace with curiosity… you can tap into curiosity by remembering how it was when you went to bed on Christmas eve at age seven, wondering what   Santa was going to bring. Oddly enough, the content doesn't matter to the brain.  The emotion of curiosity is chemically based, and once elicited, it works fine on difficult people.

TAG Before These Additional Strategies

T        Take a deep breath

A         Ask yourself "What response do I want from this person?"
 a. respect
b. admiration
c. anger
d. puzzlement
e. slight  irritation   
f.  interest.
g.. dis-interest
h. boredom.
i.  none of the above
j. other
Once you've decided the response you want……..
G         Go for it! Select from all the words available the exact words to create the response you want. T is for "Take a breath," A is for "Ask yourself" and G is for "Go for it".   TAG will keep you calm, collected with an inner smile. 

2. TMM

"Tell me more"   then listen with the idea that each person on the planet has had some experiences not shared by others.  See if you can find one interesting piece of information from this person.

3.  INTERRUPT with "That reminds me of a story…."  Then tell a story about anything that moves the energy into a more up beat direction.  

4.  Look up and find a pleasant memory from your past, place this person inside that memory.  Then, in your imagination, go up to the person in the memory picture and whisper one word in his/her ear.  Do not laugh.  If you miss some of the on-going doom conversation, you can always say, "Something you said took me away.  Would you re-cap what you were saying?"  Most people do not listen to others so you may make a friend with this request.

5. Swirl your eyes.  Move your eyes around in an infinity circle, a lazy 8 on its side.  Do this several times while your communication partner  is looking away, if possible. Notice what happens inside your body after you do this.   If the other asks what you are doing, say, "Resting my eyes, and clearing my hard drive."  

Keep in mind that your own health and well-being can be tilted way off kilter by someone else's obnoxious input…about you, about your loved ones, about your friends.  It is positively all right for you to protect yourself from acid pouring out of the mouth of another person.   And even it is not "acid", just disapproval or bitter criticism, this can harm you.   I'm convinced we  human beings are more fragile than is customarily acknowledged, and  we respond on a physical level (migraine headaches, colds, flu) to attacks from others, even verbal attacks.  It is our right to protect ourselves with specific behavioral strategies  for those poor difficult people.  They are their own worst enemies.  Sprinkle a little compassion on your new options.

Enjoy trying out these strategies, and begin discovering more in your own interactions.