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Two Miracles
— or Three?
Your Own Story
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Two
Miracles — or Three?
by
Genie Z. Laborde |
You’ll probably agree that miracles
for business (especially with the ethical climate of Enron,
Arthur Andersen, Global Crossing, Adelphi, etc.) are rare,
and two miracles that connect through a business must
be even scarcer. Still, they did happen to me and to my
business. Here are the two stories.
The company I founded 20 years ago, I.D.E.A., conducts
communication trainings for corporations. These seminars,
INFLUENCING WITH INTEGRITY, include interpersonal skills
which help you understand yourself and others. By communicating
with integrity, people do become more effective and productive,
no matter what their job is. Corporate training is a feast
and famine business as their budgets expand and contract.
Training dollars disappear first when the economy goes
down.
When we started the company I had a tidy amount of investment
stock and borrowed on this to get us through the startup
phase. At one point the stock was worth several million
dollars, and I borrowed only $100,000, which seemed prudent.
Until a six-year-later downturn in the stock market reduced
my stock’s worth. My collateral stock was then sold
to cover the $100,000 loan I had made for business capital.
By 1990 we had over a million dollars in sales, a hundred
certified trainers, our INFLUENCING WITH INTEGRITY seminars
had gathered thousands of rave reviews, and we had 12
employees. At that time it didn’t seem to matter
that my nest egg was gone, because the business was doing
fine.
Then, about a year later, a recession hit, my operations
officer quit, and I discovered I needed $60,000 to keep
the business going for the next 30 days. We were three
months in arrears in rent and several months behind in
paying key invoices. There was no money to pay telephone
bills and no operating capital. My nest egg was gone,
my house mortgaged, and my business faced bankruptcy.
INFLUENCING WITH INTEGRITY seminars were dying —
soon to be gone. All the passion for changing people’s
lives for the better, the long travel flights to Budapest,
Siberia, Amsterdam, London, etc., the light-bulb experiences
of managers would be over — relegated to past experiments
that failed to produce bottom lines in the black. All
the creative work I had poured into I.D.E.A. would simply
disappear. During the years while I had been designing
the workbooks, training instructors, writing the textbook
(200,000 copies sold), and gathering enthusiastic clients
I had become so identified with the company that I felt
I was dying, too. But for all my creative thinking abilities,
I was stymied. I felt paralyzed with disappointment at
my lack of perceived options..
This day I was sitting at my desk, completely out of options,
wondering how one declared bankruptcy when yet another
letter from a bank in New Orleans arrived. For several
months this bank had been sending me form letters directing
me to mail in my stock to be exchanged for new certificates.
Congress had passed a new law about foreign investors,
so all corporate stocks were being replaced with new certificates.
I had ignored the letters because my brokerage house had
informed me all my stock had been sold three years before
to pay off the $100,000 debt.
To divert my depressing thoughts, I picked up the phone,
dialed, and asked for the bank officer who signed the
letter. I explained that I had no stock. She replied,
“We are the official registrar of this stock, and
according to our records, you own 1750 shares of stock,
which in today’s market is worth $120,000.”
I was silent, wondering which version of my stock status
was true. Sold? Not sold? She continued, “If you’ll
send us registration fees, we’ll issue you new certificates.”
The figures matched perfectly. I could borrow half the
value of the new certificates.
I had enough to pay the registration fees. She sent the
certificates, and I borrowed $60,000 on the stock to keep
my company going.
How did the stockbroker make this mistake? Or was it a
mistake?
Once the recession was over business picked up again,
and we added Hewlett-Packard, Dell Computer, Nissan, Continental
Airlines, and others to our long-term clients, IBM, Pacific
Bell, Chase Manhattan Bank, and FPL.
Now it is eight years later. One of our three-day classes
at IBM is almost completed. The IBM trainer, Kay Best,
is conducting the final exercise. Here Kay goes around
the room asking each person to express the most important
learning from the three days of the seminar. The second
person Kay asked, a lovely blond 30-year-old named Joan,
burst into tears. The other participants looked uncomfortable
for tears are not considered professional, so Kay said,
“Next person, please.” Then looking directly
at Joan, she said, ”We’ll come back to hear
your answer later.” Everyone else answered things
like “How to establish rapport,” “How
to set an outcome,” “How to enter a peak performance
state,” “Increased awareness of others’
patterns,” all of which are usual responses to this
question.
Then, when everyone had responded, Kay looked at Joan
and said, “Would you like to tell us now?”
Joan teared up again, but finally managed to say, “I
can’t talk about this now, but if you’ll give
me your phone number (sob) I’ll call you this weekend
and tell you.” She paused a moment, then continued,
“I had planned to do something else this weekend,
but I’ll phone you instead.”
On Saturday Joan phoned Kay to say, “Over the last
month my boyfriend moved out, my boss is hassling me,
and I just couldn’t handle it any longer. I planned
to commit suicide this weekend.” Pause. “But
with the things you taught about how to get my outcomes
and deal with difficult people, I realize I can make my
life work. ……. I want to thank you for bringing
this course to IBM.”
Kay was speechless, which is unusual for her. She has
taught maybe 200 courses on communication and always has
something to say. Finally, she replied, “Thank you
for telling me. I love what I do, and I’m glad you
see yourself using these skills. You have a lot to offer
the world. Stay here with us.” Then Kay called me
with this tale.
If the “sold” stock hadn’t been “not
sold” and Congress had not passed a law about reissuing
all stock we would have had to close down the seminars
— and Joan would not be alive. Seems like two miracles
to me, or is it three? |
| Your Own Story |
You can see, on the Web,
your own personal story using any Syntonics skill from
Influencing with Integrity, if you send
it by email,
call Genie and tell it to her, or write it down and mail
it. In your personal experience tell us which Syntonics
approaches worked for you and which did not.
For
example:
The sales manager, Bob, of a major television major TV
network was given a copy of Influencing with Integrity.
Skeptical of the sales skills presented, he nevertheless
decided to try matching a client's movements to discover
if this actually increased rapport. He'd flipped through
the book one night, and his first client of the day was
hyper, striding up and down his office as Bob tried to
explain the parameters of their potential contract. Still
skeptical, Bob got up from his chair and walked along
with the client. Amazingly enough, rapport quickly developed.
"Matching" worked and right away an agreement
was reached. Bob was still unconvinced. After all, he'd
been a salesman for ten years and these were new approaches
he'd never heard of.
His next appointment was with a saleswoman who was
trying to gain his agreement for a joint venture. He
decided to watch for her breathing to see if he could
detect shifts. She was not a heavy breather and he was
totally focused on her breathing, the rise and fall
of her ample chest when he realized she'd stopped talking
sometime earlier. He looked up to see her staring at
his face. She was obviously trying to decide how to
respond to his fixated gaze at her chest. Bob mumbled
and sputtered and talked of breathing rates, pointing
to the pristine white book as if the title, Influencing
with Integrity, was going to rescue him. He then resolved
to practice the new skills outside his office.
We'll use your name or not. You tell us!
Here's
a list of a few of the Syntonics skills available.
|
 Determine
the major perceptual preference of the other. Visual,
Auditory, or Kinesthetic?
Listen
to their predicates. Notice which sense dominates.
Watch
their eye movements.
Watch
their breathing.
Watch
their gestures.
Watch
their lower lip.
Watch
their skin color.
Match
their favorite perceptual system.
Organize
their responses into patterns.
Make
educated guesses about what the patterns signify. Be open
to changing your conclusion.
Know
your outcome.
Find
out their outcome.
Elicit
their major beliefs.
Avoid
any direct clashes with your major beliefs.
Discover
as many components of their world view as possible.
Put
yourself in their shoes.
Notice rapport and non rapport.
Be flexible.
Pay attention to their voice tone, tempo, volume.
What does their voice tell you about their state of mind?
If
you lose rapport, get it back as soon as possible.
Be creative and accepting of a contrary viewpoint.
Negative judgments kill rapport.
Ask questions.
Use sensory based words for clarity.
Use fat words for general agreements.
Be congruent.
Be careful about covert anchoring. It borders on manipulation.
Influencing works better in the long run.
You do not know what is best for the other.
If you are not in a state of excellence, get there.
If the other is not in a state of excellence, you may
lead them to one with rapport & the right questions.
Create a metaphor to enlarge the other's viewpoint.
Be entertaining.
Have
fun.
Win-win always beats a win-lose.
No matter what side you are on, a win-lose becomes a lose-lose.
Respect for the other pays off.
Humor can change the energy.
If you reach an impasse, move your body into a different
position.
Listen more than talk.
Smiles are magic, even in government agencies.
Say no more than three sentences, then wait for a response.
If you don't know the moment you lose rapport, you need
more practice in sensory acuity.
If you are enjoying yourself and have rapport, so will
the others. |
If you've tried
any of these or others, let us know.
In
addition . . . Do you have a business problem?
Not a challenge, not a situation, but an honest-to-goodness
problem that you'd like some new ideas to solve.
Email
Genie the details and she'll send you five possible
strategies you could consider, then try out.
No
fee . . . this is for fun and to add to our email
list. |
| Frequently
Asked Questions |
| Q: Do
you have proof your seminars change people's behaviors?
A: Yes.
Q: How do I see this proof?
A: Click over to Soft-Skills and call us with any additional
questions. You could also purchase Toot Your Own Horn,
which is 300+ pages of research on our seminars, if
you are interested in research.
Q: Do you have people who have attended your
seminar I can talk to?
A: Yes. Call the office and ask for Genie Z. Laborde.
She'll give you names from your industry and arrange
for them to accept your call.
Q: Do you have seminars for the public as well
as inside corporations?
A: Yes. See the events schedule.
Q: Do you tailor your courses for specific
corporate needs?
A: Yes.
Q: Why do you prefer three-day trainings?
A: Because the behavioral changes are more consistent
when the participants practice and integrate for three
days.
Q: Will you conduct a one-day training?
A: Yes.
Q: How could I get qualified as a trainer?
A: 1. Attend a three-day seminar
2. Attend a five-and-a-half-day Advanced Training
3. Attend a three-day seminar as a potential trainer
4. Teach six modules with a Master Trainer present
5. Teach the final six modules with a Master Trainer
to certify you.
Q: Do you hire outside trainers to teach your
courses?
A: Yes, sometimes, after they are certified.
Q: What's the longest relationship you've maintained
with a client?
A: Fifteen years with both Chase Manhattan Bank and
IBM.
Q: Do these seminars actually change people's
behaviors?
A: Yes. See Soft-Skills.
Q: How many I.D.E.A. trainers have you certified?
A: 127.
Q: How many people have completed the Advanced
Training?
A: 262
Q: How many people have completed your seminar?
A: More than 12,000.
Q: In how many countries have you and the
I.D.E.A. trainers taught these seminars?
A: Fourteen: Holland, Belgium, Hungary, Mexico, South
Africa, England, Germany, Russia, Canada, France, Norway,
Taiwan, Indonesia, and the U. S. A.
Q: How do you market your trainings?
A: Word of mouth, booths at ASTD conferences, and
the Internet.
Q: Have you been teaching the same thing for
20 years?
A: Some skills, yes, but the audience is more knowledgeable
now, so we've added advanced skills to the basic interpersonal
skills.
Q: Do you really guarantee your trainings?
A: Yes.
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